


You Smile and I Breathe

by loveyoushall (iknowhowyoukiss)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Poe POV, at the end of tfa, missing moment, reimagined first meeting, tucked between completing luke's map and rey saying goodbye to finn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:09:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23898790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iknowhowyoukiss/pseuds/loveyoushall
Summary: When Poe goes to medbay to check on Finn, the last thing he’s expecting to find when he gets there is Rey at his bedside. He’d be lying if he didn’t admit that he was deeply intrigued by the woman who took on Kylo Ren and lived to tell the tale, not to mention who put the hope back into the Resistance.
Relationships: Poe Dameron & Rey, Poe Dameron/Rey
Comments: 2
Kudos: 50





	You Smile and I Breathe

**Author's Note:**

> For my friend, Kat (a-faekindagirl@tumblr), who wished Poe and Rey had met during TFA and had gotten a chance to talk about her saving BB-8 and discuss finding Luke. Also big thank you to Alex (capthamm@tumblr) for lending me her eyes and making sure my words make sense <3
> 
> I'm not used to labeling warnings for fic so I hope I'm doing this right and warning for the correct things, but there is a little bit of PTSD and survivor's guilt that we kind of touch on in here. Might even be a 'blink and you miss it' type of a deal, but just in case, I wanted to mention it :)

When Poe walks into medbay to check on Finn, the last thing he’s expecting to find when he gets there is _her_ at his bedside, fast asleep in a chair with her head pillowed on her arms that are folded over his chest. Poe pauses a few feet away, inquisitive gaze trained on her. 

She’s the woman of the hour, Rey from Jakku, and he’s heard quite a bit about her since returning from the battle at Takodana. Most of it had come from Beebee-Ate, a whirlwind story detailing how she’d been the one to rescue both him and Finn on the desert planet, and then worked to keep the Resistance mission alive by protecting the droid and trying to bring him back to base. In between all of the binary, the cheerful trills and happy chirps, Poe could tell that Beebee had grown rather fond of her during their short time together. 

After the destruction of Starkiller Base, the whisperings about her amongst his fellow Resistance fighters only continued to grow louder. They were calling Rey Force-sensitive, fearless, a hero; the scavenger from the outer rim who wielded the legendary Luke Skywalker’s lightsaber and went toe-to-toe with the First Order’s Kylo Ren, managing to escape with little more than a few bumps and bruises. 

It was impressive, to say the least, and Poe would be lying if he didn’t admit that he was fascinated by her, eager for a moment just to properly meet the woman who kicked Kylo’s ass and lived to tell the tale, not to mention who also put the hope back into this war. 

He steps a little closer to her and it must stir the air because it sets off her reflexes and he gets a firsthand glimpse at what everyone’s been fussing about. She jolts, only half awake when she reaches for the staff she’d been keeping at her side, quickly and efficiently sliding out of her chair with a spin and a deliberate swing of the weapon. She’s fast, he’ll give her that, but he’s more alert so he manages to catch the rod in hand before it can make contact with his face.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! It’s just me!” he cries. 

Rey swears under her breath, and it’s intriguing to watch the emotions flicker across her face -- confusion, comprehension, embarrassment. 

“Sorry,” she mumbles. “It’s been a long last few days.”

“Yeah, I know the feeling,” he chuckles lightly, canting his head at her. 

It’s clear that she knows how to take care of herself, but that only brings more questions about who she is and who she was before ending up here. As he continues to watch her, it’s easy to see why Beebee likes her so much too.

A lot of people would easily underestimate a woman so slight of frame and sweet-faced, wrongfully assuming that she couldn’t be anything but harmless. But all they needed to do was look closer to see the fire in her, the resilience, the undeniable strength, and the very obvious fact that she could knock somebody out and likely enjoy doing it.

Her eyes narrow at him, brows pinching together under his gaze and he realizes, somewhat mortified, that he might be openly staring. _Oops._ But she doesn’t shy away from his close examination of her, in fact, she actually lifts her chin slightly, the gesture unmistakably challenging in nature. It calls to the part of him that’s always been a tad too reckless, that’s always enjoyed a bit of a fight, and Poe decides then and there that he quite likes her. 

It’s a thought that is immediately followed by a second: that he likes her face, too. The hazel of her eyes reminds him of home, that initial sight of Yavin 4 dropping out of hyperspace, where the planet is just a floating orb of mossy green and sandy gold swirled together. It’s charming, as are the freckles sprinkled like stars across the bridge of her nose and the cutting sweep of cheekbones framing a stern mouth. 

“May I have my staff back?” she asks then. There’s no bite to her voice, but one of her brows arches up sharply.

Poe blinks, the question drawing him from his internal musings. “What?” 

She nods at the weapon between them, the one he’s still holding. “My staff?”

“Oh! Sorry.” As soon as he lets go, she brings it down and he reaches up to scratch at his cheek, suddenly anxious they might have gotten off on the wrong foot. “We did this backwards. Hi.”

“Hi,” she replies, though more cordial than warm. 

He holds his hand out in a formal greeting, offering her a smile -- his most dashing, of course -- with the hopes of eliminating any further wariness she might have developed over him during their initial meeting. “I’m Poe.” 

She glances down at the movement then shifts her staff to the other hand before tentatively sliding her now free one into his. “Rey.” 

The corners of her mouth tip up politely and he feels a pleasant warmth settle in his chest, noting with increasing wonder that she’s got dimples in her cheeks; the one on the right deeper than the two on the left. 

“I know,” he nods, and it’s difficult to keep the admiration from his voice. 

In the end, it’s Rey who breaks eye contact first, ducking her head with a puzzled quirk to her lips as she moves to sit in the seat next to Finn’s bed once more. It’s not an action he would necessarily call demure; he’s more inclined to say that she just doesn’t give the impression that she’s used to or comfortable with talking to people. Or maybe it’s just him. 

He tries not to frown at the abrupt thought, unaccustomed to the idea of anyone possibly finding him less than likable, and shoves his hands into the pockets of his dress slacks to keep from fidgeting. 

She returns the staff to the original place it had been before he disturbed her, then leans back and crosses her arms over her midsection as she slouches a little in her seat. Poe remembers the first time he’d seen her, a quick peer over his shoulder before he’d followed after Finn and the medics upon returning from Ilum; she’d been wearing murky creams and soft grays, looking worse for the wear and worried for her friend. 

Now, she’s dressed in much the same color palette, dark grays and deeper taupes in thicker fabrics, perfect to help combat the weather on her mission to Ahch-To. She appears a touch more rested and refreshed but still concerned for Finn. His gaze flits back and forth between her and the defected Stormtrooper. 

Finn never mentioned having a girlfriend, but Finn didn’t mention a lot of things, and a part of him is curious to know if Finn and Rey’s bond goes deeper than what he’d initially thought. Not that he cares one way or another, it’s really not any of his business. Kriff, he doesn’t even _know_ either of them, least of all her. 

But when Rey peeks up at him again, apprehensive eyes meeting his curious ones, his traitorous mind thinks maybe he’d like to. 

“How’s the patient?” Poe asks her, expertly redirecting their conversation into safer territory before he accidentally runs his mouth and does something stupid, like asking things he has no right asking about. 

“They didn’t tell me much, just that he’d be okay.”

“Good,” he answers earnestly, relieved to hear the positive update. “That’s great news. He saved my life.”

“Mine as well.” 

The words are heavy and though it piques his interest, Poe doesn’t press. “Nice guy,” he says instead, biting his tongue before ‘ _Is he your boyfriend?_ ’ can slip out.

“I think so,” she replies faintly, tender almost in the way she says it. 

It makes Poe feel some weird sort of...restlessness in his stomach and he ends up beginning to pace the small area. As slowly and casually as he can.

“So a Jedi, huh?” He doesn’t pause his steps but glances in her direction and tries for another friendly smile.

“What?”

“That’s what you are, right? Lightsabers, the Force...” He lifts his hands, moves them around slightly as if wielding the power himself. He’s not really sure how it works. “All of that. Like...Luke? No?”

Rey shakes her head, perplexed, and Poe does stop then, staring at her and sharing the same confusion.

“No, I-” Rey mumbles, so low Poe wouldn’t have heard if he hadn’t been listening so attentively. “I’m not- I’m not a Jedi. I’m just no one.”

Poe frowns at that, at the surprising pressure that bears down onto his chest. “No one is no one,” he tells her, tone gentle. 

She looks up at him at his words, the same bewildered expression flashing across her face before she averts her eyes once more. Kriffing hell, he is crashing and burning spectacularly right now; he doubts even Beebee-Ate could save him at this point. 

He doesn’t remember the last time he’s had such a hard time speaking with a woman. Is he that badly out of practice? He resists running a hand through his hair but still mentally kicks himself in the ass, wondering if he’s simply just doomed to be a blundering idiot around this girl for the foreseeable future. 

“By the way, Beebee-Ate told me what you did,” he says, attempting to salvage what’s left of his dignity. “Thank you for that. He-” 

“Don’t mention it,” she interrupts, waving him off.

He can tell she doesn’t do well with compliments, but Poe’s insistent, especially when it matters. “No, let me finish. He’s really important to this cause -- and to me -- so I just need to say...thanks. Plus, he’s crazy about you. He can’t stop talking about his new friend from Jakku. He really likes you.”

She pauses a beat, considering, and then, “I like him too.” 

Rey smiles, just a small, easy thing but her affection for his droid is thoroughly apparent. Poe’s pretty sure it’s like watching the sun peek out through the clouds on a gloomy day and he is promptly and uncontrollably distracted. 

Another moment of silence passes between them, and then Rey’s quiet voice disrupts his thoughts. “How do you do it?” 

It’s a whisper this time and he has to strain to hear it. His brow furrows at her. “Do what?”

“The whole…” She lifts her hand, gesturing at him. “Thing.”

He’s not quite sure he understands her meaning, and it must show on his face because Rey opens her mouth as if to clarify. But then she abruptly closes it and shakes her head. 

“You know what, forget it.”

“No, come on,” he urges, feet unconsciously carrying him a few steps closer to her. “What is it?”

“Seriously, forget I even said anything-”

“Rey-”

“Are you always so nosy?”

“Unfortunately, yes.” The light humor is lost on her, though, if her expression is any indication. 

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” she blurts out suddenly, the sentence coming out of her in one quick rush as she clamps a hand over her mouth.

He goes still at her words, startled. “What?”

She moves her head back and forth, dropping her hands to take a shaky breath. “I don’t...I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“With...what?”

“With anything.” 

Her face pinches together, like she’s about to start crying, and Poe springs into action without hesitation. So he might have a penchant for being a little soft-hearted, particularly if waterworks are involved. 

“Hey,” he says quietly, walking back towards her to squat at her side. He lays a tentative hand on her shoulder and relaxes when she doesn’t pull away. “Hey, hey, hey. Look, I know we just met, and I know this is...a lot. It’s a lot to take in for anybody first coming in here, let alone for someone who sort of just...got dragged into it. So if you need to talk about something, you can.”

“I don’t know if I can do this,” she confesses after a moment.

Poe searches her face, angling his head just so and trying to draw her eyes to him. “Do what? Find Luke?”

“Find Luke, fight in the Resistance, all of it.” 

“Are you kidding me? Of course you can. You saved Beebee-Ate and Finn on Jakku, you helped blow up the oscillator on Starkiller Base, you fought that monster, Kylo Ren, and you won. If you hadn’t been there from the start…” Poe trails off, shaking his head and understanding fully that all of this could have gone a very different way. “We’ve got a shot to win this war now and _hope_ for the first time in a really long time. We owe that to _you_ , Rey.” 

Her cheeks have turned a pretty shade of pink at his words and there’s some part of him that quite likes knowing he’s the reason for it. But she looks at him skeptically, as if he’s merely fluffing her up.

“I mean it,” he assures her, giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze to punctuate his point. “And I don’t give out compliments readily, you can ask anybody.” 

He thinks the corner of her mouth might twitch, and that’s enough to bring out his own smile.

“I know this is scary and messy and overwhelming,” he carries on. “But if you really want to go back to Jakku, I will personally speak to Leia and escort you there.”

She gives him a disbelieving look. “You’d take me back to Jakku?”

“If that’s what you wanted, yeah. But I don’t think it is. Maybe I’m being presumptuous, but you don’t look like someone who sits out a fight, especially if the little guy is in trouble. Granted, the little guy is the galaxy and the big guy is the First Order, but you know...” He shrugs, rolling his eyes rather theatrically and hoping to entice her smile out for real.

It still doesn’t come, overshadowed by a deep frown that’s settled over her face.

“What good am I to the Resistance if I couldn’t even save Han or protect Finn,” she says instead.

_Ah._ Now he understands. He moves his hand from her shoulder to her arm, hoping the gesture brings some comfort. “That wasn’t your fault, Rey. It’s war. It’s ugly and it’s unfair, and sometimes things happen that you can’t help. It’s the nature of the beast, unfortunately.”

“But how do you live with that?”

The question takes him aback, leaves him wondering about his own coping mechanisms. Does he even have them anymore? Or has he just been in the war too long? Is he so accustomed to the constant loss and grief that he’s simply numb to all of it now? 

“Compartmentalizing,” he replies finally, truthfully, with a sad, self-deprecating chuckle. She doesn’t appear too pleased by his answer; neither is he, but he thinks she’ll appreciate his honesty. “We get up to fight another day so that people all across the universe can _have_ another day. Sometimes there are things that need to be bigger than your fear or pain, and sometimes you have to use those things as your motivators. Whether you meant to be or not, you’re in the Resistance now.” He smiles at her gently. “And we need you.”

“No pressure or anything,” she sulks, but only a little.

His smile widens into a grin. “Oh no,” he replies, his voice taking on a teasing quality. “All the pressure. Look, take it from someone who knows Leia. She wouldn’t ask this of you, if she didn’t believe that you could handle it. She trusts you to bring Luke home -- for Han, for Finn, for all of us and the galaxy -- and if your track record is anything to go by, it’s nothing you aren’t capable of.” He gives her arm an encouraging squeeze. “It’s going to be alright, Rey. You’ll see.” 

Poe catches sight of the clock over her shoulder and rises to his feet. She’s leaving soon, and there’s still a ton of preparations he has to oversee and final checks he has to do before she goes. But just as he’s about to depart, her hand shoots out and her fingers grab at his.

“You’ll take care of Finn, won’t you?” she asks.

He swallows thickly, gaze flickering down to their hands and back to her face. He takes a brief moment to acknowledge the twist in his gut, equal parts jealous and chivalrous. “He’s in good hands, I promise.”

“Poe?” She tugs him back a second time, rooting him to the spot.

Though he doubts very much even a charging reek could move him from place, what with the way she’s looking at him. He tries not to get swept up by the genuine warmth in her eyes, the gratitude there. The way his name sounds from her lips. How her hand feels in his.

He’s failing miserably.

“Yeah?” he questions.

“Thanks,” she replies.

The edges of his mouth tick up. “See you when you get back,” he says, and the last thing he sees before he leaves is her answering smile, radiant as the sun.

* * *

The image stays with him well after he goes, which is saying a lot considering his mind is already full of her. In truth, he’d been expecting the strength but he hadn’t been expecting the softness. She felt, and _deeply so_ , all of her emotions right there on her sleeve, and it was difficult not to be so drawn to both her toughness and vulnerability. Finn was certainly lucky to have her in his corner, and Poe hoped that one day, he might be able to say the same.

A flicker of movement captures his attention and up ahead, Poe sees General Organa waiting for him just beyond the entrance to medbay. He hadn’t even realized he’d had a goofy smile on his face until his cheeks and mouth relax, or that he’d been fiddling with his mother’s ring through his dress shirt until his hand falls away.

“General,” he greets, quite seriously, slipping into his Commander’s persona for propriety's sake when he walks up to meet her.

“Commander Dameron.” She gives him a knowing look.

“What?” he asks, perhaps _too_ innocently. 

Her brow arches up at him but she says nothing further, glancing over his shoulder to where Rey and Finn are. She tilts her chin up, nodding at them instead. “How are our newest recruits doing?” 

He sighs. “Well. Finn isn’t awake yet, but he’s stable. Rey is…” he pauses, searching for the right word. Brave? Tenacious? Fascinating? None of them seem enough to encompass the whole of her.

That look is back on Leia’s face, and so is a smile that Poe is all too familiar with. 

“ _What?_ ” he asks again, surprised at the defensiveness in his tone.

“Pretty?” Leia supplies, canting her head at him.

Poe rolls his eyes at that. “I was going to say spunky.”

Leia merely hums.

He shrugs lightly. “That and for someone who’s been kidnapped and had to face off with-” 

He halts his words sharply, minding his tongue with a quick look to Leia. She frowns and he’s sorry for almost bringing up Kylo, for putting even the barest of shadows there in her eyes. Poe clears his throat. 

“She had a near-death experience,” he says instead. “And she’s coping rather well.”

“Yeah, she’s a special one,” Leia murmurs, gaze drifting back to Rey. “Young though.”

“Weren’t we all when we first started?” Poe asks. 

Her mouth curves, just a bit sad at the corners. “Walk with me Commander,” she says a beat later, turning and beginning to lead him away.

He has a sneaking suspicion what this conversation is going to be about. “General,” he starts.

“You’re my best pilot, Commander, I need your helmet on straight.”

“General-”

She pauses at the end of the hallway, turning to face him. “That girl might just be the last hope of the Resistance. She can’t afford any distractions.”

“With all due respect, ma’am, all I did was talk to her.” He sighs again; his annoyance is brief but makes him bristle anyway. “And I don’t know what kind of man you think I am-”

“One with eyes,” she says, with only a little bite. “And a tendency towards pretty, spunky things.”

He smirks, unable to help himself, and studies her for a second more. “I don’t make eyes at _you_ , General.”

“Only because I don’t make them back.” 

The touch of her fingers to his cheek is fleeting, but the affection is not. Poe grins, watching the ghost of a smile tug at the General’s lips as she moves to leave. 

“I know you, Poe. Give her a second to breathe before unleashing that Dameron charm on her. War is complicated enough on its own,” she tells him, one final thought.

“That never stopped you and Han,” he calls out, when she’s a few feet away.

“No,” she chuckles, the word caught somewhere between fondness and melancholy. She doesn’t halt or turn to look at him. “It most certainly did not.”

He watches her go until she disappears around another corner further down the corridor. Only when she’s well and truly gone does he look back at the way he came, his gaze landing on the entrance to medbay and wondering at the charming, courageous girl further inside. 

Poe smiles to himself once more, allowing himself the indulgence despite the General's warning, then he diverts his attention back to work, back to the Resistance, and finding Chewie to make sure he has everything he and Rey will need on their mission to Ahch-To. 

_Fin_

**Author's Note:**

> Poe is Leia's son, try to change my mind <3


End file.
